Conditioning
by Llama Mama23
Summary: It's now required for Forks High School students to take a semester of CONDITIONING gym! When both Edward and Emmett show up in Bella's class, what will happen? Series of gym-related drabbles. Edited August, 2012.
1. Intro

**Conditioning**

**Authoress's note: Greetings peeps (hehe…)! This was a story I wrote in a notebook many ****months**** (years now) ago, when I was bored in class. I recently found the notebook, and as I finished reading the first page, I turned it to find that it was ****ALL****I'D****WRITTEN****! Something everyone should know about me; I have **_**no patience**_**. None. I **_**HATE**_** starting to read something, and then having to WAIT to see what happens. Evidently this even applies to things that I'VE written. So, I had to go home, type it up, and finish it. **

**This will be just drabbles that happen while Bella takes advanced gym, most likely not related to each other. I dedicate this to my evil conditioning teacher, who inspired this story! And although she was evil, she was pretty cool.**

**Enjoy! This takes place somewhere in the Twilight world, not during any particular book, sometime after New Moon, but just pretend that Emmett still goes to the school.**

**Bella's Point of View **

Gym. I hated it with every human fiber in my being. Forks High School had recently passed a rule that forced students to take at least one semester of conditioning gym class, something about the United States getting too fat.

Conditioning. In essence, it's a harder, more dangerous (for me) version of regular gym. While in my old gym class, I'd only get bruises, I'd probably be breaking several bones in this class. At the beginning of the coach's pep talk, she'd informed us that this semester would not be easy; in fact it would be _hard_. We'd be working on our endurance and weight lifting for most days of each week, with book-work once a week.

The Coach introduced herself as Coach Romel, pronounced 'Raw-Mell'. She said that we were to call her either by her name, or just as Coach. Coach was, to put it simply, a coach. She looked like someone who was born to be a gym teacher. She had a stern, sort of angry expression that seemed a permanent part of her face. I could easily picture her yelling at someone to go faster as they passed out. This didn't bode well for me at all. As the coach rambled on about how the habits we formed now would affect us for the rest of our lives, my mind told me the classic line '_at least it can't get any worse_'.

Wrong.

As Coach picked up her clipboard to call roll, the gym door opened and closed with a loud squeaking sound. As she looked up to scold the late student for tardiness, her eyes widened and her open mouth closed with a click, I refused to look behind me at the newcomer, trying to convince myself that the flash of intuition was wrong. It couldn't be him. He wouldn't do that to me.

"Who might you be?" She asked them, still gawking.

"Edward Cullen." His voice said, coming up behind me. He sat down next to me with a huge grin on his face, which I only could see out of my peripheral vision. I was refusing to look at him, hoping that if I didn't actually _see _him, he'd go away. Gym class was the worst possible class we could have together.

My mind repeated itself in my brain '_at least _now_ it can't get any worse'._

"And Emmett Cullen!" Edward's brother said indignantly, strolling to sit on my other side.

He grinned at me too, his smirk mirroring his brother's. My mind backtracked, trying to calm itself down; but it wasn't working. This was really, _really _bad.

I was sitting in a gym that smelled like generations of people had sweat in it (probably had), about to participate in a class that would surely be the most embarrassing experience of my life, assuming it didn't kill me. To make matters worse, my vampire boyfriend would see it all, along with his brother, who would wouldn't hesitate to laugh his head off it I turned myself into an idiot.

It was official: _now _it couldn't get any worse.

**Hope you enjoyed! Tell me what you think! All the actual gym-events in this series are actually based loosely on real experiences in **_**my **_**conditioning class. Some of it is exaggerated, but I really did have a class like this! Hardest semester of my **_**life**_**!**


	2. Dodgeball

**Dodgeball**

**Authoress's note! Thanks for reading the second installment in the conditioning saga!**

**Disclaimer: Forgot to put one on the last chapter…I will own the rights to Twilight when my pet pig learns to fly. (And I don't even have a pet pig! So it's even **_**harder**_**!) But as my pig that I don't really have is still stranded on the ground, I don't own the rights to Twilight. **

**By the way, I know nothing about dodgeball, except to dodge the ball. If I get anything wrong, either review and tell me, or ignore it. Sorry! **

**EDIT : August, 2012: Someone DID read and tell me that my version of dodgeball was, in fact, wrong. So I edited, and if it's still wrong, just ignore it. It's better than it was! I'm PRETTY sure it's right now…**

**Bella's POV**

"Since classes are shortened because of the assembly later, we'll be playing a game of dodgeball today! Tomorrow, the _real_ work begins." The coach proclaimed, her words triggering alternating groans and cheers around the room.

I stayed silent, gripping Edward's hand in a grip that probably would have broken it if he was human, trying to think how I could get out of this class. And if _I_ couldn't get out, I at least wanted both of them out, so they wouldn't witness my humiliation.

Edward leaned closer to me. "You're looking a little more pale than usual, love. Are you alright?"

"We're playing _dodgeball_." I answered. He nodded in understanding.

"You two switched into this class, didn't you?" I asked, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer. If they'd been in this class to begin with, I couldn't be angry at them, but if they purposely changed their schedules to be in here…

"Yes, we did. I thought you needed protection in a class like this." He answered practically. "Emmett however…" He hinted.

I turned on Emmett, who was smiling sheepishly at me. "You switched classes to watch me humiliate myself!" I accused him. Though I didn't want Edward to see me at my most clumsy, I had to agree that his help in this class would definatly reduce my number of hospital visits. But Emmett had no reason or excuse to be in here. He just wanted a laugh.

"Of _course_!" He stated, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "This is exactly what I need to make me smile every day! Come on, Bella! It'll be fun!" He bounced around like a little kid, a goofy grin on his face.

"Would you like me to make him transfer?" Edward offered, probably trying to get himself off the hook.

Emmett's face fell, his eyes growing to at least twice their normal diameter. "_Please_ Bella? I promise I'll only laugh when it's _really_ funny!" He bargained. Before I could stop myself, I looked into his puppy-dog eyes. I cursed myself as I fell into his trap; he knew I could never resist those eyes.

"Fine." I grumbled. "But the first time I catch you giggling in a corner while I'm lying on the floor in pain, you're out of here."

His bambi eyes disappeared, his face regaining its usual mischievous look.

"I'll pick team captains at random, and they'll pick their teams." Coach Romel closed her eyes, swirling her pointer finger above the clipboard of names. She stabbed at the list, landing on a name.

"Cullen." She closed her eyes to pick another when Emmett's voice boomed across the gym, "Which one?"

She glanced back at the list, "Edward." She said, not noticing Emmett's crestfallen face as she looked up and openly stared at Edward's perfection. He acted like he didn't notice taking my hand and laying a kiss on it. Very conspicuously. The coach shook herself out of her ogling, twirling her finger for another name.

"I'll pick you first." Edward promised into my ear.

"Hey! You can't do that, Edward. Bros' before hoes'. You _have_ to pick me first." Emmett declared, smiling like he had unfaultable logic on his side.

"Emmett, I'm picking Bella first. End of discussion. And if you ever refer to her like that again, I'll paint your jeep pink." As Emmett quickly sobered his expression in fear for his beloved jeep, Edward's face twisted into a grimace right before the coach's voice proclaimed around the gym once more, announcing the other team captain.

"Newton, Mike." She gestured for the team captains to join her at the front, holding a quarter in her large hands. Edward kissed my forehead swiftly before gracefully standing up to join the coach.

I heard the low, indistinct buzz of a cell phone, and snorted when I heard Emmett mutter 'hello?' into his phone.

"HA! Thanks Alice!" He hung up and I could feel his body shaking with laughter beside me. Edward was glaring at him, obviously not liking what he'd heard.

"You know, it's against school rules to have cell phones out." I told him, quoting the many speeches we'd received on this topic.

"Rules! I like to think of them more as 'guidelines'." He leaned closer to me, so that he was only a few millimeters from my ear.

"It was Alice. Edward's going to lose the coin toss." While he shook with laughter, I contemplated what this would mean for _me_. Would Mike let me be on Edward's team? Doubtful. The coach threw the coin in the air, catching it and flipping it onto her wrist.

"Mike is the winner!" She proclaimed, proving Alice right. "You get to pick the first player." I looked towards the three standing people, and I could see Edward seething from all the way across the gym.

"Bella!" Mike called, motioning me to his side of the gym. I sighed, standing up to join him. I shot a 'be good' look at Edward, but while I was looking at him, I tripped over Lauren's arm, which was stretched out behind her to hold her up.

I landed on Jessica, who was sitting next to Lauren. "OW!" Lauren screeched, cradling her arm against her chest.

"I'm so sorry!" I cried, speaking to both of them. Jessica seemed unhurt, but she was still glaring at me. "Are you alright?" I asked Lauren, reaching forward to try to help somehow.

"I'm _fine._" She snapped, jerking her head towards Mike; a clear dismissal.

"Okay. Sorry." I mumbled again, before standing up and taking my place behind Mike.

"Emmett." Edward's velvet voice called out, still sounding tense. Emmett made a 'wha-who!' noise as he paraded over to stand behind Edward.

Mike picked Jessica next, followed by Edward's choice of Ben Cheney.

The picking and choosing of teammates went on for another few minutes, and then the teams were finally complete. Each leader had about ten people standing behind them, ready to fight to the death.

The coach surveyed the gathered teams, and said "You have one minute to choose a team name." My team clustered around in a circle, and the bickering started instantaneously.

"How about the Pink Flamingoes?" One girl asked.

"The Hot Babes?" Suggested Lauren.

"The Dragons!" One boy called out.

No one seemed to be liking any of these, so Mike decided that, since he was team captain, he'd pick one.

"I read this article in a magazine a few weeks ago about werewolves! It was really cool, I think we should name ourselves 'The Werewolves'." He seemed proud of himself, and the rest of the team seemed to like the idea. As I was about to propose the name 'The Vampires', the Coach blew her whistle, commanding the teams to come tell her their chosen names. I watched Edward's team as Emmett quickly ran over to the coach, and whispered a name in her ear. She nodded, and Emmett returned to his team with his shoulders shaking with laughter, and Edward glaring at him. Mike glided over to the coach and told her our _incredible_ team name.

"All right! The Werewolves Vs. The Vampires!" I stared in shock at Edward, and he jerked his head towards his brother, who was still sniggering.

We all shuffled to our respective sides of the gym, and I strategically placed myself near the largest boy in the class, who would act as my shield if the ball should come my way. Edward's team grouped together for a brief huddle which, knowing him, he was using to bribe people not to throw the ball at me.

Mike seemed to realize that I wouldn't be a very popular target, for he jerked his head to indicate that he wanted me near him. I shook my head at him, and he waltzed over to hover near my side, ready to dive behind me if the ball found its way to him. Coward.

The coach's whistle blew, shattering all our eardrums. "DODGE!" she commanded, emptying a bucket full of ammunition in the center of the gym.

Almost everyone but me dived for a ball, but Emmett was the first to actually throw one, and I saw him wink at me as he threw it at just the right angle so that it tapped Mike's leg, the only part of him that wasn't cowering behind me.

"Aw, man!" He whined, heading to the bleachers to wait for the rest of the team to get out. I watched as, one by one, my teammates were picked off. The ball never came anywhere close to me, making me suspect that I was the 'you-hit-her-you-die' person. I sighed, and continued to hide behind my team members.

As our team lost more and more members, the other team had moved a few steps closer, and the balls were coming now with frightening speed.

The Coach surveyed the remaining players and commanded "Everyone but one person on the Vampires, go sit down." making the odds a little better for me and the other two members of my team still standing. The Vampires had only lost one player.

Emmett shoved Edward towards the bleachers and took a stance in the middle of the gym. Edward glanced back at me, as if asking for my permission. I nodded at him, knowing that Emmett _probably _wouldn't be throwing the ball at me anyways.

He smiled, and went to sit a few seats away from the rest of his team. Emmett quickly got out one of the other people with me, and then it was just me and Lauren. She glared at me, seeming angry that I, too, had survived the attack of The Vampires.

Suddenly, the ball came flying at me again, and I just barely made it out of the way in time. Emmett grinned at me, obviously amused by the death glare I sent his way.

"Five bucks on Lauren!" Jessica called from her seat in the bleachers.

"Five on _Bella_." I heard Edward hiss though is teeth, giving Emmett a clear warning. Emmett rolled his eyes, and threw the ball again at me, though much more softly than the last time. I managed to dodge this one easily.

He feinted towards me, then quickly threw the ball at Lauren, making sure it was fast enough that she couldn't duck out of the way. She was out.

Emmett grinned at me and threw the ball very lightly towards me to that I was able to catch it, putting him out. "Miss Swan is the winner!" Coach called. I heard people behind me grumble about favoritism and pity-wins and how Emmett didn't put any effort at all into his last throw. I was okay with him letting me win. He was probably trying to earn some brownie points now to make up for the laughing-at-me he'd be doing later. The Coach silenced the groans by telling everyone to pack up anything we had, as class would be out in a few minutes.

"Don't forget, tomorrow we start _conditioning_!" The class muttered in unhappily, but the bell rang, dismissing us from school for the day. I turned the coach's announcement in my mind, wondering which one was more dangerous for me; dodgeball, or conditioning class. I decided that dodgeball wasn't as dangerous as it seemed, although I'm sure it would have gone very differently if Edward wasn't in here. He met up with me at the door, and escorted me to his car, driving me home where scary gym coaches couldn't get me.

**Thanks for reading! Leave some love! Click that little periwinkle button! You know you want to!**


	3. Uniforms

**Uniforms**

**Welcome to the third installment of the 'Conditioning' saga! Thank you for reading!**

**In the last chapter, Bella played dodgeball. In this chapter, they will get their GYM UNIFORMS! YAY! Now, I feel the need to ask everyone, have ANY of you EVER seen a gym uniform that isn't **_**HIDEOUS**_**? I have not. While I don't know of a school whose uniform is as ugly as I make these sound, I have seen some pretty ugly ones in my days.**

**Bella's Point Of View**

I groaned as Edward led me into the gym. Time for the _real_ torture to begin. Yesterday would seem like playing with kittens compared to what was coming.

Coach was standing at the front of the gym, with the class sitting in a circular mass before her. No one seemed to be particularly thrilled to be here, except for Emmett, who was still finding it hilarious that our team names had been 'Vampires' and 'Werewolves'. Must be a slow week for him. The coach pulled out her clipboard that was covered in health stickers on the back, and began to read out the names of the students. After she'd affirmed that we were all, indeed, there, she picked up a black garbage bag that she'd set on the floor.

She opened the bag, reached in, and pulled out what was most likely the ugliest thing I'd seen in my life. Everyone grimaced in unison at the bright orange shirt, and groans echoed around the room at the words 'FORKS HIGH SCHOOL' on the front of the shirt, which were written in bright green. Hideous. They may not sound that bad, but _they_ were the reason that people committed suicide. Absolutely atrocious.

She told us to suck it up, that we'd only see each other in them, and we were lucky to have uniforms at all.

"You'll have to dress out **(A/N: I'm sorry about this term, I think it's different at **_**every **_**school. It's referring to the act of taking off your nice, pretty clothes, and putting on ugly, smelly, uncomfortable gym clothes. Most schools have 'dress down', or 'dress in'.) **Three days a week. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesdays we'll be doing bookwork, and we usually play some sort of game on Thursdays." She glared at all of us, looking remarkably similar to a falcon.

"If you don't dress out, you will receive a zero for that day, and will most likely fail the class. There are separate locker rooms, and I will not tolerate anyone sneaking into the opposite gender's locker room." She threw the uniform she was still holding to the girl nearest her, who flinched away from its ugliness.

"It's one size fits all." She stated, and then started throwing a shirt and pair of shorts at everyone. Edward and I were at the back, and were the last to receive the humiliating gift.

"Think Alice could do anything to fix these?" I asked Edward, critically looking at my shirt, which looked a little huge for me.

"She had to take this class last semester. I was near enough to hear her thoughts when she first saw these, and if she could have cried, she probably would have. But she managed to convince the coach that she's deathly allergic to cotton, and unable to wear them." My mouth dropped open; how could Alice get away with that! She was one of the few people in this school who could manage to make these monstrosities look _good_! And yet she got out of it!

"Do you think the coach would buy it if it were _me_?" I asked Edward, hoping against hope that I wouldn't have to wear these.

"No. Sorry, love." He kissed my forehead, and then shook his out to examine it.

"Ew." He muttered eloquently.

"Go get dressed!" The coach called out, pointing us in the direction of the locker rooms. I stood with a sigh, and Edward intertwined our fingers as we waltzed gloomily to the locker rooms.

We turned the corner, and found the whole class waiting outside two doors. They looked exactly alike, and gave no indication at to which room belonged to which gender. Everyone stood there for a minute before Jessica opened one of the doors, looked inside, then looked in the other one.

"This one's the girl's." She said firmly, walking through the door to the left. The boys stepped into the other room, and Edward and I parted ways to change into the grotesque clothing.

Our locker room didn't look too bad. There were four long, double-sided benches that ran the length of the room, with sturdy-looking wires that connected them to a long stretch of wood that ran the same length above the benches. There were hooks every few feet on the wires, probably to hold clothes or bags. On the back wall was a line of bathroom stalls, and in the left corner, there was a large door that probably led to the showers. The room in general smelled like it had endured one-too-many spilled perfume bottles, and the floors looked to be about the same color as vomit. I wondered offhand as I changed into my 'uniform' where the school's budget was going; because it _certainly_ wasn't being spent on the athletics' department.

The coach marched swiftly into the room, blew her whistle loud enough that a few people in China went deaf, and marched back out without a word. We followed dumbly, not knowing what she wanted us to do.

I was right about the uniform, it was huge on me. I wasn't the smallest girl in the class, and the shirt still came down to almost my knees, and it felt like I was walking around in a tent. Thankfully, the shorts had a little drawstring thing that, when tightened as much as it would go, prevented me from mooning my class. I meandered at the back of the line of girls, most of which were complaining to each other about the grotesque-ness of their attire.

Edward slid up beside me, and I grimaced at him. Somehow, he managed to make the awful outfit look _good_. I sighed, looking away from his perfection. He bent down close to my ear and, after laying a soft kiss on my cheek, whispered, "Look at Emmett."

I turned to my other side, figuring that's where Emmett would be, close enough to see the Bella-falling-extravaganza. But he wasn't there. Edward put his hands on my shoulders, spinning me around to see Emmett shuffling awkwardly to the right of the boy-crowd. For once, his face held no grin, but a sour-ish look of embarrassment.

A polar opposite to me, Emmett's uniform was too small. It strained across his muscular chest, making him look quite ridiculous. His arms were folded tightly across his chest, as if trying to prevent people from seeing him. The shorts were so short that even a cheerleader wouldn't touch them. So much for one size fits all. As much as I tried to hold it in, a giggle escaped me, and Emmett looked up to glare at me.

"We'll see who's laughing once the workout starts." He said, picking up his pace to pass us into the smelly gym. I stopped laughing; he was right.

"Emmett has a fear of short-shorts." Edward murmured into my ear. "At least when they're on him."

I giggled again. The crowd of boys passed us as we took our time entering the gym.

"Swan! Cullen!" The coach's harsh voice made both Edward and me pick up our snail-ish pace, and we were last to enter the gym.

"Alright class, a rule you need to learn. Last one into the gym owes me push-ups." My mouth dropped open in shock, and Edward didn't appear to appreciate the tone that the coach addressed me in.

"But you both entered at the same time. Pick a number one through ten. Closest to it has to do the push-ups. Swan, you first."

"One." Edward whispered, clearly telling me the coach's number.

"Ten." I said, picking the furthest number from hers. I smiled at Edward, grateful that he'd take the push-ups.

I heard his soft sigh. And then I realized that he'd been telling me what number to _pick_. Not the one to go furthest from.

"Nine." He said, frustration in his voice.

"Number was ten. Give me fifteen push-ups, Swan." I moaned, and heard a low growl start in Edward's chest as he sent furtive dirty looks towards the coach. I moved into the push-up position that I'd always used. As I often got hurt when doing real push-ups, a gym teacher back in Phoenix had taught me a different position that significantly decreased my head injuries. I balanced on my knees, instead of my feet, and as I was bending my arms for the first one, Coach stomped over to me, towering above me forebodingly.

"What are you doing?" She asked, her forehead gaining wrinkles as she furrowed it at me.

"Push-ups." I stated. "I usually hit my head doing regular ones."

"That's the biggest lie I've ever heard. Get into the _real_ position." She reached down, pulling my knees up off the ground. But I wasn't expecting her to do that. One of my hands slipped off the shiny surface, and my head crashed into the wood floor so hard that the entire gym echoed for a few seconds.

I sat there on the ground for a few seconds, mentally checking if I had a concussion. Edward hurried forward, lifting my upper body off the ground and draping me across his lap, his icy hands gently patting my face.

"Bella? Bella! Say something!" Edward's voice said over me, his cool hands moved to my head to make sure I hadn't split it open.

"Ow." I groaned, granting his request.

"Bella!" He lifted my head up; examining it closer as I slowly opened my eyes.

"I'm fine." I assured him, waving my hand at him.

I let him help me pull myself up, and stood there for a second, making sure I wouldn't fall. After a few more seconds of non-fallence, I slowly detached myself from Edward.

The coach was standing there, looking aghast. Probably worried I might try to sue her or something.

"Eh, you can skip the push-ups today, Swan. Don't be last again." She turned away from me, still looking a little worried. Her shrill whistle blew loud, hurting my eardrums with its pitch.

"Line up! We're heading outside and we'll run a mile to warm up." I stared at her, hoping against hope that I _had_ gotten a concussion, and this was all just one big-horrible hallucination. Edward was still glaring at the coach, probably planning to sue her. I took his hand, taking a deep breath as we marched out onto the track.

Our track was a strange, unnatural reddish-color, and was divided into five lanes by thick white lines. Emmett moved himself to the front of the class, and I firmly planted myself at the back of the crowd. Edward stayed by my side, his angry eyes still on the coach.

"Calm down." I whispered to him.

"I'm calm." He lied.

"Sure you are. Go run with Emmett." I ordered, making my voice as firm as I could.

"Bella, I won't be leaving your side for a second after what that stupid woman did. She's very lucky that I don't have anger issues." I snorted at that, and I heard Emmett's booming laughter coming from the front of the crowd, probably listening to our conversation.

"Well, who knows? She _is_ a conditioning teacher. Maybe she could beat you." I giggled at the image of Coach Romel facing off against an angry Edward. "Don't worry about me. Go run with Emmett." I told him again. I didn't want to slow him down any more than he was already being slowed down. Having to 'run' with humans must be miserable for him.

"No." he said.

I huffed at him. "Edward, I won't kill myself running. I'll be fine. Go. Run. With Emmett." I really didn't want him to have to keep pace with snail-ish me.

He turned his topaz eyes on me, eyes that were slowly getting darker. He needed to hunt. "Bella. I don't mind running with you. Really."

I frowned at him. It wasn't just that I didn't want to make him go slower than he already had to. I _was_ slow, even by human standards, but it just felt embarrassing. Even me running as fast as I could would only be a hundredth of what he was capable of. I already suffered from severe inferiority complex around him. This wouldn't help.

Before I could protest further, the coach blew her whistle again, signaling us to run. I forced my feet to move, and started an easy jog that was really closer to a walk, with Edward at my side.

**Does anyone want to see the coach come on to Edward? Or Emmett? I think it'd be funny, but let me know what you guys (probably actually girls) want.**

**Thanks!**

**-Llama mama23**


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